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Thread: Louisiana vs Goliath Parable

  1. #1
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    Jun 2003
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    I was cleaning up a drawer at my office and I came across this letter that appeared in the Morning Advocate sometime after the Summer of 1984 when we were the University of Louisiana. I have tried to locate the author of this marvelous letter to the editor without success. I trust that he would still be interested in publicizing his creation so I had the article re-typed for inclusion on this board. If anyone knows the author, I think he should be applauded formally on this board.

    kawlija1


    This is a parable about The University of Southwestern Louisiana and Louisiana State University, prepared specially for the home of the paper tiger and gutless legislator. I hope someone finds it enlightening. At least I did, when I moved to Lafayette from Shreveport.

    Eric Lee Green
    222 Clemantis Corner
    Lafayette, LA


    A PARABLE ABOUT UsL-LSU

    Once upon a time there was a young man named Blah. He toiled and struggled to make something out of nothing, and when he paused to examine his handiwork, behold, it was good. And he went out upon the land to persuade others to see his handiwork and buy his crops and invest money for equipment and workers. But no one would come and see, for all knew that a man with a name like Blah could do no good.

    Goliath, on the other hand, lived off the fat of the land. He had a privileged life from birth, and luxuriated in the knowledge that he had but to wave his hand and hundreds in the Capitol Building would rush to do his bidding. He had everything; the largest farm, the most crops, the most prestigious reputation. But unknown to the rest of the land, his standards were slowly eroding as he spent more and more money for accountants and managers and less and less money on the purpose of his farm: raising crops.

    Blah swiftly grew tired of being shunned, and went to his management board to get a new name, invoking the memories of King Edward's promises to Blah in the recent election. And behold, they named him Unique.

    Goliath was frightened. If Blah had a new name like Unique, everyone would come and see his handiwork. And, by some chance someone might compare him with Goliath, and see that while Blah was producing five excellent crops with the least money per acre, Goliath was producing 45 mediocre crops with the most money per acre. People might start asking questions. So Goliath gently waved his hand, and, behold, hundreds in the Capitol did his bidding. And Goliath laughed and mocked young Blah with his power, saying, "Look, I can buy a whole legislature with merely a wave of my hand. What can you offer to compete with that?" And Blah said, "I do my job the best with the least."

    And everyone looked the other way when Blah read the Constitution, which had a part in it to keep Goliath from controlling Blah, and Blah filed suit. It languished in court for years, and meanwhile Goliath burned all of Blah's crops and drove away his workers and cattle, in the name of economy. And Blah was once again reduced to licking Goliath's boots and begging Goliath for bread, and the courts pondered whether his name was Blah or Unique, but he knew that he was Unique and Goliath knew he was Unique, so at least he had a little comfort as he waited for Goliath to end his suffering with the guillotine of economic reason.

    Eric Lee Green


  2. #2
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    May 2002
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    Originally posted by kawlija1
    "Blah was producing five excellent crops with the least money per acre, Goliath was producing 45 mediocre crops"
    Where do the numbers stand these days?

  3. #3
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    Thanks kawlija1, I had heard of this parable but had never seen it. It wasn't done justice. It so captures the era.


  4. #4
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    Oct 2002
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    This brings back memories for me. I had just moved back to Lafayette from Houston and had the opportunity to go to the State Capital where UL had a rally on the Capital steps. I remember looking up in the windows of the Capital and seeing them plastered with LSU signs and people flipping us the birdie. At that point I knew where we stood.......


  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Lafayette
    Posts
    1,299

    Default I'm not PMS-ing, I just don't like LSU that much

    If you're an LSU fan, I hope you read this, cuz when you do, you'll know we've got you figured out. And for all UL fans who understand the importance of a name, you'll definitely agree with me.

    If name didn't really matter and wasn't as big of a deal and was just a funny little thing like LSUAMCBR fans try to tell us, they'd have no problem calling us UL, but since LSUAMCBR fans know how a full name can be kinda clunky, sound not as good, and not be as professional or good for publicity, they insist on calling us ULL, or UL-Lafayette. It's that kind of greedy, juvenile, insecure about themselves, backwards-~~~ thinking that is holding them up, holding us down, and reflects really well why our state is regarded and rated as really ____ty in most things that we do. Maybe if we had UL people running this state instead of LSUAMCBR people, ALL universities in this state would be on equal ground, and our state would be in better shape.

    God Bless.

    p.s.- If you didn't know by now, LSU's full name is actually Louisiana State University Agricultural and Mechanical College at Baton Rouge. That's a mouthful!

    p.s.s.- Although I have some things against LSU(AMCBR), I do have friends that go there.

    p.s.s.s.- I heard that LSU(AMCBR) is a possibility on our schedule this upcoming season for basketball. But guess what?!? They're too scared to play us here, so we gotta play them in Baton Rouge. But as long as they don't pay off the refs, we're probably gonna win. Which now that I think about it, is probably better. Because if they actually would have the cajones to play us here in Lafayette, we'd probably win, and then they'd blame it on the fact that it was an away game. But now that we're gonna play them again in BR and probably win, it'll be even sweeter for us, cuz we will have beat them on their home court.

    p.s.s.s.s.- I wrote this post right after I bought one of those "you picked the right one baby" shirts from Louisiana Hot Stuff where the picture of the little boy on the back chose to kiss the UL girl instead of the LSUAMCBR girl.


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